Most will, after a short thought, probably answer no to the above questions. Yet there are many who hunts very ambitious career goals. Now there is help from Science, which provides an answer to the question.
In a study that has run over a period of 79 years, researchers from Harvard University have followed 724 men who have been studied from the time they were teenagers until they were old.
The study began in 1938, and every year, participants were asked about their lives, health, and work.
In a culture – admittedly American, but which we Danes can easily relate to – where hard work and successful careers are hailed as the path to the good life, the result is highly surprising.
It turns out that the quality of our close relationships, such as spouse, family and close friends, is paramount to both well-being and health as we get older. So it has nothing to do with success, wealth, social status, IQ or genes.
Here are some of the points that the study revealed.
Social relationships are good for us. Loneliness is a killer.
Good, social relationships make us happier and healthier. In contrast, the study showed that men who felt lonely were less happy, that their health and brain function deteriorated earlier in life, and that they lived for a shorter time than the men who did not feel lonely.
The quality of our relationships matters.
The study also that it is important to focus on the quality of our relationships If we are constantly living in a form of conflict, it has a negative impact on our health. For example, it may be better for your health to divorce than to live in a conflict-ridden marriage.
Likewise, working under high stress levels and an unhealthy, mental work environment may not surprisingly have a major impact on both our mental and physical health.
The study showed that the people who were most satisfied in their relationships in their 50s were healthier when they rounded the 80s.
Good relationships benefit our brain – not just our health.
The study also showed that the 80 to 90 year-old men who lived in secure relationships had a better memory, whereas those who lived in insecure relationships without trust in each other experienced a greater reduction in their memory.
At the same time, it turned out that discussions between spouses did not affect memory as long as the 80 to 90-year-old couple knew they could confidently trust each other.
The same is true in the workplace. An employment relationship where the boss always backs up his employees and makes them feel safe will result in far better employees and less sick leave.
The opposite is also true. Managers or middle managers experience less stress, sick leave and perform better if they enter into secure relationships with their employees.
What can you do?
Make sure your career plan takes into account that you need time to nurture your relationships. It is possible that your ambitions are sky high, which in of itself are not a problem, but it is my contention that it is possible to achieve your career goals without giving up on your relationships.
Therefore, you should make time for both your close family, spouse, and children as well as other good relationships, such as the sports team, the lodge, the whiskey club, the card friends, etc. That way, you can make sure that your career gives you just the good life that you want.